For once, I am at a loss for words. Suffice it to say that I am patently unable to lay eyes on that ridiculous hamster suit without being seized with uncontrollable giggle fits, the only remedy for which entails swiftly and sharply banging my head against the nearest large, sturdy object. While it is certainly true that to be successful, a webcomic requires unique, appealing characters (a requirement that we obviously lack), and it is also true that it is a common practice among webcomics (and comics in general) to fulfill this requirement through the introduction of cute, commercially-viable, talking animal characters into the roster, today's comic is about much more than crass commericalism. Today's comic, above all else, is about dressing up Fernwick in a dopey giant hamster suit. ˇViva Hamferno!

While the punchline of the comic jokingly urges you, our beloved reader, to buy Hamferno merchandise, rest assured that no such merchandise exists. Truly, given our current state of affairs vis-a-vis the comic, we are in no position to engage in any sort of e-commerce or order fulfillment capacity, not to mention that our site traffic still largely consists of immediate family and friends who we would probably just give t-shirts to, anyway. A CafePress store was briefly considered, just so we could buy Hamferno shirts for ourselves, but it was decided that it would be much quicker and more cost-effective to just buy iron-on inkjet paper and a couple of white t-shirts. Also, judging by the quality of the one CafePress shirt I was foolish enough to purchase (ironically enough, for Phil's birthday), we would probably get a higher-quality result with puffy paint pens, Elmer's Glue and glitter.

One day, we'll have something behind that "Buy our Carp" button besides a creepy talking fish, but probably not anytime soon. However, if you're absolutely dying for a Hamferno t-shirt, let me know. I'm sure Phil will have no trouble making the switch from pencil and ink on paper to puffy paint pen and glitter glue on 100% cotton. Anything for the fans.


Updates and other assorted effluvium follow:

Coranto Archive

Week of August 7, 2005

Merch™ Merch -- Posted by Mike on Wednesday, August 10 2005, 9:33 AM

Actually, for accuracy's sake, I do in fact own a Merch™ t-shirt that I bought from the Penny Arcade booth at Comic-Con as an excuse to talk to Gabe and Tycho, a conversation that lasted all of 90 seconds and was mostly comprised of monosyllabic grunts and hand gestures on my part as I seemed to have lost the ability to form complete sentences at the time. It's a really nice shirt, though.


H-A-M-F-E-R-N-O, not G-A-R-F-I-E-L-D -- Posted by Phil on Wednesday, August 10 2005, 9:21 AM

Welcome, lawyers! First, some CYA:

Phil LupinoTM, Mike MTM, FernwickTM, HamfernoTM, and The Idiot TestamentTM are trademarks of TheIdiotTestament.com. All other trademarks are the property of the respective trademark owners.

WHEW! Glad we got that out of the way. Now for the shouts. The "cute animal mascots" graphic in panel two are, clockwise from the upper left:

Bun-Bun from Sluggy Freelance
Sheriff Pony from Wigu
Diablo from Goats
Skull from PVP
Arthur the Wonder Duck from Sheldon
Boo from Megatokyo

Cool. Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to announce that we do not have any Hamferno merch. As a matter of fact, we do not have any merch...not even MerchTM merch. MerchTM is a trademark of Penny Arcade, BTW. However, I'm thinking of making a bunch of shirts like the one in panel 4 just 'cuz it looks soooo cute. One of these days, we might have enough traffic in here to even justify selling them. Rest assured, we will let everyone know when such a thing comes to pass.

Perhaps when the Stones retire. That should give us a good 20, 25 years.

Today's comic will be posted this afternoon -- Posted by Mike on Monday, August 8 2005, 7:02 AM

Apologies for the delay, the burden of blame rests solely on my shoulders. For while my erstwhile companion was spot-on as usual with the artwork, a busy weekend schedule effectively ate up all my comic-assemblin' time. Believe me when I tell you, however, that this afternoon's comic will definitely be worth the wait. Until then, please direct your attention to the following important public service announcement, and we'll see you back after lunch.


Strip and main News updater by Walrus
News updates by Coranto

Questions? Comments? Sandwiches? Send them all to Mike and Phil. Phil likes mayonnaise and is partial to Reubens, BTW. Mike likes blue drinks and "anything with bacon in it"